I'm going to jail i love you
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize