Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ya

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I used to kick so much ass

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  (586): Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part? (313): Ya (586): I used to kick so much ass http://tfl.nu/d78f
  Replies (2) Good night (1456) Bad night (536)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

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  (703): i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps http://tfl.nu/14e5
  Replies (24) Good night (1319) Bad night (8176) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you

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  (650): after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you http://tfl.nu/blf7
  Replies (38) Good night (9772) Bad night (583)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.

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  (701): For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza. http://tfl.nu/ui1g
  Replies (15) Good night (4959) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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  (267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (2364) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston

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  (781): I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston http://tfl.nu/zjjv
  Replies (7) Good night (1056) Bad night (1778) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

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  (224): It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo. http://tfl.nu/9q3e
  Replies (6) Good night (1707) Bad night (673) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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  (347): I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time. http://tfl.nu/7l8h
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (1953) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.

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  (913): the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head. http://tfl.nu/5rt7
  Replies (8) Good night (547) Bad night (2007) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.

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  (704): The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night. http://tfl.nu/10ma
  Replies (4) Good night (1209) Bad night (667)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.

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  (360): corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me. http://tfl.nu/hdp7
  Replies (3) Good night (885) Bad night (1225) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.

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  (914): It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ulw
  Replies (7) Good night (406) Bad night (1865) Order T-Shirt
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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  (931): I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA http://tfl.nu/jla7
  Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg

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  (519): Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg http://tfl.nu/646r
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.

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  (763): Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge. http://tfl.nu/dfv5
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (147) Order T-Shirt

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