Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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