Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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