my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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