he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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