I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize