Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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