I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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