btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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