I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
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so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
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im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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