omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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