did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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