What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize