Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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