Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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