So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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