Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize