I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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