Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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