But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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