she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
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I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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