I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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