In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
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So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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