He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize