All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize