Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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