toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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