I murdered the dance floor call the cops
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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