Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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