just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize