i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
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