well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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