That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize