Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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