I heard we made out
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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