I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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