If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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