State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize