Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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