carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
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There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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