come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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