I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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