i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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