Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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