i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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