what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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