4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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