Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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