I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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